Sunday, October 14, 2007

fatter

This gem today from the BBC, you can read the whole thing if you like. But here’s the, ehem, meat.

‘Obesity 'as bad as climate risk'
Alan Johnson said a "cultural and societal shift" was needed
The public health threat posed by obesity in the UK is a "potential crisis on the scale of climate change", the health secretary has warned.’

Well, that’s a worry. A plague of fat people is as bad as a mass extinction event. Then I suppose he has a point - all that extra weight could sink land-masses, and their uncontrolled appetites could consume whole species. Which, in some ways of course they are and, in just about every way I suspect is not what Alan Johnson is actually worried about. Just a guess, but, I won’t flog this one. It is it’s own satire after all.

However, there is a solution which could just deal with both of these pressing threats to our continued viability as a nation. Get all the fat, and potentially fat, people out of their cars and give them bikes. Impound their televisions and play stations. Get them on rationed food, turn down their heating, get them walking everywhere and working in the garden or allotment to grow their own healthy food.

And, of course, lest any of you smug thinnies out there are cackling at the thought of enjoying this spectacle, this actually means all of us.

Which, on second thoughts, may actually be exactly what he had in mind all along. Body image as a driver for saving the planet (sic). Loose a stone, or the polar bear gets it. Less cellulite for more icecap. RDA vs PPM. Hmm.

Excuse me, i think i'm just going to be sick...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice plan

We can give them all a calendar and shiny wall chart to check their progress and wait loss on,
and so they know when they started both will start at year zero.

Get them all working the countryside I say cities just make you fat.

it's a holiday in.......

Anonymous said...

...Snowdonia!

that'll soon sort out the waddling dog capitalist lackeys!

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I saw that story a few days ago.. blinked a bit, stared some more, blinked a few more times, had the beginnings of the thought "maybe I should.." exhaled, then went back to blinking, resigned.

mmm, cake..

Alice said...

:-) you already ARE sick.